The Beginning.

She's here. Aunt Flow that is. The uterine lining I will build from here on out will cushion my baby for the next 9 months. I am ecstatic. I am trying to be as positive as possible. As healthy as possible. And as optimistic as my heart will allow me to be.
My transfer is in 3 weeks!!! One...two....three! Time goes by so fast. Before I know it, I'll be in labor! =o
I really want to transfer two 5 day blastocysts. I know that the increase in chances of conceiving twins are high. But, if I am meant to mother twin babies, than I will...happily =). If I get a single baby, than I will be happy. Anything God is willing to give me, I will be eternally grateful for. So, I will find that I am pregnant on the 25th of August, 5 weeks from today.
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On another note- I have been very stressed out lately. I mean STRESSED. Which is totally unhealthy, especially when I am going through this process. Husband and I are in the process of TRYING to sell our home. However, because of the crappy market, it is going to have to be a Short Sale. Meaning the bank will accept less than what we owe on the home. The reason we are moving is because the cost of living is extreme here in AZ. We are running out of money and with a soon-to-be baby on the way and absolutely no health insurance to cover my pregnancy or delivery..... things aren't looking so great. Granted, even if we had health insurance and we were okay here...we'd still be desperate to leave. The heat is killer here, and I get heatsick very easily. I want to be able to enjoy the outdoors and when it is 125-130 outside it is not an option.
We are planning on moving back to Maine where most of my family is living. That way we can enjoy the cool summers and the white winters. I am so excited to just be able to walk out onto a grass lawn and be able to breathe in and out without feeling like I am in an oven.
Well, mother-in-law found this out and wasn't very happy. I don't care anymore, we are not here to make other people happy. This is our life! Our money. Our home. OUR decision. She did help us a lot with the house when we were renovating it. But, we have every intention on paying her back in the future when we can actually get ahead. Here, it is not feasable. She is worried about our credit score and will we be slitting our throats by doing this...yada yada yada. I don't want to tell her that WE JUST WANT TO GET HE HELL OUT OF ARIZONA because I do not want to offend her after all that she has done for us..but she is really pushing it. Husband and I may be young...but we are certainly NOT stupid. I have done my research. I know my credit will take a hit. I know that we are walking away from our home to the unknown. But! We are YOUNG! We have all of the time in the world to make it right again. And I would much prefer to make it right some where I would like to be. Somewhere beautiful with a mild climate! I want my children to be able to experience summer and not have to stay indoors for fear of being cooked alive. Who knows, we may not even qualify for a short sale on our home. If that is the case, we'll take the next step to get out of here. And then Mother-in-Law was talking about how dangerous it is to move during your 3rd trimester which is where I'll be when we do finally move. I have done plenty of research on it... people move all of the time in their 3rd trimester! Right before they pop their babies out!! How can it affect me to ride in a vehicle with the A/C pumping and my feet kicked up? I am not going to be taking charge and lifting enormous televisions and furniture into the back of a UHAUL truck. HELLO? How stupid does she think I am? I am going to get as established as I can with a DR in Maine. I will have all of my records and information sent to them prior to so they know what they are dealing with. I will be using the same midwife and birthing center where my younger sister gave birth April of this year. I like the way they work..I like the facility. It is beautiful and right the water. Very friendly nurses, very friendly staff all around. We are going to rent an apartment or if God willing, we find a house at an affordable rate! We will get established in jobs. We will DO what we have to DO to make it work for us. Just back off woman! Late lastnight, Husband gets a call from his mother and his sister (Who is like a younger version of his mother) and they rip his ear off with all of the reasons we should not move, and can I push my TRANSFER DATE BACK, NO! I cannot. We are moving!! If you don't like it... I don't know what to tell you. I will be so glad when we finally get out of this town.
Work has also got me stressed out. I am in charge of people satisfactory. Which means, people go to me on a constant basis insisting that they get what they WANT in order to be satisfied. And I have to do it. I have to deal with this on a daily basis. It is really running me ragged. Customer service is the devil. I will be so relieved to leave this job I will probably, literally have weight fall off my shoulders as soon as I walk out of these doors. The company I work for has the worst health insurance. Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Arizona. None of my prenatal visits will be covered. Lab work for a basic beta is $500 each time. Ultrasounds are insanely priced. We had planned for this, as we knew prior to doing IVF that our insurance didn't cover any of it. However, it didn't hit me until just recently...what if my baby is born early, god forbid? He/She has to stay in NICU for a couple days to maybe a couple months? We are talking about a MILLION dollar bill here, literally!!! Millions of dollars!! What if I need to be airvac'd to a bigger hospital? $80,000!!!!!! These numbers make my skin crawl. I want to be able to ENJOY my pregnancy and not stress about numbers, bills, and money. It is heartbreaking. We don't qualify for government insurance because we make too much $$. Well, too much for government insurance is still not crap! My Mother-in-Law suggested, insensitively, that Husband and I get a Divorce so that we qualify. The nerve of that woman is unreal. Totally UNREAL! We plan on getting on government insurance when we move back to Maine because I won't be employed until 6 weeks after baby shows up. So, we will only have to claim Husband's income.

It is all very complicated..and stressful. I just cannot believe the mess I am in right now. I want everything to go okay. I want to be a happy mommy with a good marriage, good job and live in a nice area so that my family can enjoy what Earth has too offer.

Thanks for listening..if you got this far =)