Round 2

Hello- I am joining weight watchers again for the second time in a quest to lose the 37 pounds that will allow me to be at my ideal weight for my height and body type. I have just finished an extensive and grueling cycle of fertility treatment that unfortunately did not result in a pregnancy. Before the cycle I had lost 20 pounds on Weight Watchers in a month and a half. I felt like I had reached a healthy weight to embark on my infertility treatment. I stopped the regimen throughout the process so that my body could focus primarily on what was happening to it via injections and medications and not have to deal with weight loss as well. Over the 2 month period of my infertility treatment, I managed to maintain my lower weight for the most part, only gaining 6-8 pounds of it back throughout that time frame, eating what I primarily ate before I even started weight watchers. Afterward, when I had a negative pregnancy test and stood on the scale to see where I had gotten to, I was not happy with my findings. I had gained back 10 pounds of the weight I had worked so hard to lose. Without a baby growing inside of me, and feeling fairly helpless and hopeless when it came to my body, I decided to take control of the one thing I have complete reign over..My weight..my physical structure..and for the most part, my internal structure.
My goal weight is 125 pounds. I am 5'7 with a very small frame. I can overlap my fingers around my wrists. Eventually I would like to see myself at 115, but 125 is the goal that I am focusing on for right now. It still seems like so much weight to lose...37 pounds!!! But I can do it! I've done it before. My time goal is to have lost most or all of this weight by November 24th when my sister comes down from Maine to get married in Las Vegas. The last time she saw me, I was at my heaviest weight of 178. I felt totally disgusting at this weight and had crap for confidence. The feeling of insecurity is totally debilitating. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
I am going to pick a dress for her wedding in the size I would like to be at that time, and it will be my reminder of the person I want to be. I want to be happy- and the happiest I have ever been was when I was at my fittest physique and felt totally confident about my appearance. My goal is to get to that place again.
Weight Watchers is fairly simple. It is tedious in the sense that you are required to constantly log everything that enters your mouth..but that in itself is apart of improving YOU. You have to be accountable for all that you do. It is YOU who decides the person YOU want to be. The only person standing in the way of the ideal YOU is YOU. Anyway- Enough with the you's.
Today is my second day on my 2nd round of Weight Watchers. I am doing good so far but don't feel like I've eaten enough. Strange that one would have this issue on a diet. But, I brought a soup for lunch today and it tasted like vomit. There was no way I was going to continue consuming that awful crap! Now the aftertaste in my mouth is similar to that of blood. Yuck! What kind of soup are these people making? So, I will have to wait and see what the rest of the day has in store for me. Today is Sunday, and Sunday is spaghetti day in my household. I am going to skip spaghetti as it is loaded with carbs and probably resort to a salad. Which I am looking forward to more so than I am the spaghetti. Being a vegetarian for almost 7 years, there was a point where carbohydrates became utterly revolting! I am going to end this blog so that I can get up and move around the office and get myself some water to wash away the taste in my mouth!